In the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19 reads, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which thee Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”
It is so easy to give way to rage and disgust, impatience and self-preservation, and most of all pride and selfishness. These characteristics are found in the natural man, which are far from Godlike. These traits are the opposite of what God represents. The scripture indicates we must develop childlike qualities: be submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to all things. These truly are representative of selflessness to the highest degree, which is as Godlike as we can get. The spirit can help us to recognize the negative qualities about our lives and help us develop these positive qualities needed to live with God. But, individually, we must be willing to evaluate our own lives and recognize our short-comings and desire to be better and more like God. Recognizing the difference between these two extremes are essential in marriage, especially when conflict arises.
I love that little children are so impressionable, believable, trusting, forgiving, and submissive to their parents. This could certainly be taken advantage of by a parent, and often is, but also is such a blessing for the parent to remember in their own relationships with others, especially their spouses. Being willing to love and forgive your spouse is a huge part of building a successful marriage. Striving hard to allow friendship to prevail in your relationship is key, which focuses on the effectiveness of communication, trust, kindness, love, and forgiveness between both parties. When these qualities are present in a marriage, conflicts can be overcome.
Crazily enough, I love criticism and getting feedback to better understand myself and what I can do to become more like God. Most often, people don’t enjoy hearing the negative things that others think about them, but I actually do. While I know I can’t always please everyone, I am willing to consider how I can be a better communicator of love, forgiveness, kindness, patience, and tolerance with others. I think this is what is meant by putting off the natural man. My husband, on the other hand, is the contrary. He doesn’t welcome criticism and I understand this about him when we are striving to resolve a situation in our marriage. Nevertheless, I am aware of the need to focus on our friendship, love, and forgiveness during the conflict, and striving to find understanding and empathy for each other and our individual feelings.
One of my favorite hymns is “More Holiness Give Me”. While some would find this hymn discouraging, as though the things they do are never quite enough, I view this hymn differently. I am always seeking ways I can improve to become more like God and to have better harmony in my family. Attitude plays a huge role in our willingness to change negative behaviors or attributes about ourselves. If we refuse to see anything is wrong and always find fault in others, we fail to become who God wants us to be because we will be content with where we are. The first step is a willingness to admit error and seek for restitution with God and others, especially in a marriage. As I have shared before, including God in your marriage allows us to be humbly taught by the spirit how to love another person as God loves us, through all the good, all the bad, and everything in between. This is the essence of charity.
Marriage Matters 