Just when I feel like I have done a good job in teaching my children about money and finances, I learned there is more I can do to teach them. I was reminded of the value of getting my education and how having an education increases our knowledge and understanding of money and creates an opportunity to make the money needed to support a large family. A budget is essential and should be used with our children, also. Learning how to budget creates freedom from the bondage of debt and helps distinguish wants and needs.

Children should learn the value of work and money at a young age to prepare them for success in marriage and family. They gain confidence in their own abilities. We give our children chores, they earn rewards, which can be exchanged in time, money, or treats and they choose how to spend. We also provide opportunities for our children to earn money through breeding/ranching, egg production, and other ways.

We strongly believe in work before play. Families working together is so necessary to strengthening relationships in the home and teaching children about sacrifice and hard work. Our family motto is: GO2WORK. We adopted this several years ago when we were struggling on many different levels and desired to change the focus from ourselves, choosing to help someone else. In the process, we were helping ourselves through this work and building stronger relations with each other. There is something to be said about laboring alongside each other, bearing one another’s burdens.

Family finances can largely affect a family and put undue stress on marital relations. Having a difference in spending habits can further be detrimental to marriages and families. If there is one common ground to be reached by all family members, it should be the 10-10-80 Rule. Members should be encouraged to give 10% to the Lord, 10% to themselves (in savings) and spend the other 80% on needs and some wants. If one person does not adhere to that principle, many unnecessary strains are added to the family.

Work is an essential element about teaching our children about finances. Teaching children about money and budgeting at a young age helps them be more successful in their future, as individuals and in families. It is important to hold family councils regarding finances, as well. While out shopping, we can remind them of the budget. You can either be in bondage to a budget or bondage to debt. Budgeting makes you FREE! As a parent, I must teach my children the importance of work at a young age and then just do it…GO2WORK!

Councils are important for every level of group to feel united, heard, and even appreciated. Elder Ballard shared some important insights about marriage and family councils. We attempted to apply them in our home as much as possible this week. We decided to hold a marital counsel last week, so I could seek my husband’s help in knowing what I could do to help improve the communication on our home. Our communication has really begun to get out of control, and I wanted to apply the things I was learning in my class to help improve not only our marriage relationship, but also to help my family.

I created an agenda, set a sacred time and place to meet, began by expressing love and offering prayer, and discussed the matter of importance: communication in our home. I was trying to reach consensus regarding the Lord’s will on the matter.

• We have had a real problem this school year with the way we communicate in our home and felt the need to change/improve. I had been feeling the need for change in our home and with the Coronavirus affecting the world and requiring my children to all be home together for days on end, I knew we needed a good action plan. I asked my husband if we could have a marital council to discuss what we could do. We agreed to meet Friday evening at 10 PM in our bedroom.
• We had a council in our bedroom. Began with prayer and we had an agenda, were both able to discuss the problem thoroughly, with suggestions and a desire to further involve the Lord.
• We went to the temple on Saturday, prayerfully asking the Lord what we could do to improve. Although the temple was closed, we sat in the parking lot discussing ideas.
• Met with the children on Saturday night to open our fast and counseled with them what we had been feeling.
• We came with an agenda and had family council on Saturday evening. My husband led the discussion for the family and tried to let each child have a contributing effort. We have 5 rules in our home – spell GLORY. G-good communication is number one and we were failing. If we are to build a house of God, which is what we actively seek to do, we must follow and focus on the first rule. For if we break the first rule, we break the rest.
  • G – Good Communication
  • L – Love One Another
  • O – Obey with Exactness
  • R – Respect home and family
  • Y – Your best efforts
• We invited them to think about what that means to them, then followed up with that on Sunday evening after our fast was ended. We counseled with our children and tried to apply the words and counsel from Elder Ballard with counsels – making sure to hear everyone out.
• The kids suggested a code word to use to help keep us in check without taking offense to the subtle reminders. (Pride and Prejudice – “Precision of Language”.) We talked about crude adjectives that are not in the dictionary, replacement words, tone of voice, body language. Also, adding the word “Prince” or “Princess” to their name. Lords and Ladies, etc, according to rank in the family. The kids had many suggestions on how if we remember “who we are”, it will make a difference in conversation.

I have had several people come to me sharing problems in family and what would I do. I always point them to the Lord and the temple, but now I can share with them the value of counseling together in marriage, then with children, and making a unified decision.

I have one daughter who struggles to see her unfavorable communication and how it affects others and the spirit in our home and reflects lack of respect. This was a good way not to single her out and make sure we are keeping the spirit in our home.

It was wonderful to ensure everyone had a voice in the matter and could discuss openly their thoughts and desires. Most importantly, it was great to involve the Lord in the process.

There is so much good information available to learn and understand the role that physical intimacy plays in a marriage. It truly is ordained of God and is meant to enable His children to become like Him, enjoying the blessings of procreation. In the talk by Sean E. Brotherson, titled “Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage”, featured in the Meridian Magazine, he talks about the value and importance of intimacy of all types in marriage: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

He shares a quote by President Harold B. Lee that says, “The divine impulse within every true man and woman that impels companionship with the opposite sex is intended by our Maker as a holy impulse for a holy purpose, not to be satisfied as a mere biological urge or as a lust of the flesh in promiscuous associations, but to be reserved as an expression of true love in holy wedlock.” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church, 2000, p. 112; emphasis added) I loved the idea that sexual intimacy was created with a “holy impulse for a holy purpose” and to me that offered so much clarity to why the drive is so great and the result so powerfully unifying for a married couple in creating oneness.

Brotherson added, “In our spiritual lives, we are counseled to return to the temple often after we have received our personal temple blessings to give of ourselves in service to others and be reminded of the great and powerful meanings of the standards that we have committed ourselves to live. Likewise, in our marital lives, a frequent return as a couple to the union of sexual intimacy makes it possible to give of ourselves in service to each other and be reminded of the commitment we have made to unity and fidelity and love to our marital companion. What a powerful blessing this can be to a marriage relationship! And so, how disappointing it is when couples allow themselves to drift from seeking solutions in this area of marriage or fail to recognize that their inhibitions may be robbing them of marital blessings.”

I really appreciated this analogy. I love the temple and I yearn to be in that sacred space as often as possible. I also love the feeling of renewal, power, peace, and strength I receive each and every time I go. Just as powerfully, I can receive those same blessings when I share intimacy with my husband. It is in our sacred space with one another we can be renewed together, and find power, peace, and strength in our union with one another. And thus, I am reminded of the beautiful value of physical intimacy for a holy purpose.

In the book, The Seven Principles for Making  Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, he refers to the “marital poop detector”.(pg. 280) He mentions that “couples…who adjusted to elevated levels of negativity (irritability, emotional distance) in their marriage ended up less happy or satisfied years later. Those who refused to put up with lots of negativity—who insisted on gently confronting each other when, say, contempt or defensiveness threatened to become pervasive, wound up happy and satisfied years later.” If something doesn’t smell right in your marriage, it’s time to pay attention and work harder towards improvement.

I love this concept and consider it practical and sound advice. Thankfully, I am married to a man who sees the world half full, while I am more a “half-empty” kind of person. This opposite spectrum in our perceptions often poses a challenge in our marriage. The benefit, however, is that when I am in need of being filled, I can just lean on him and he can fill up my cup! I recognize this gets exhausting for him, however, because he is often filling the cups of people who have similar perceptions to mine. Now that I recognize that about myself and him though, I am better able to focus on positive things because I have learned from him.

Always finding the bad in things around you can weigh heavily on your emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Being focused on higher, better things allows us to aspire for more and often overlook the every day grind we can find ourselves. That is life. Not every day is going to smell like roses! But, we can have hope in a better tomorrow if we are willing to have humility and patience in our circumstances, charity and forgiveness towards our spouse and ourselves for shortcomings.

Being able to effectively communicate when things are not going right in a marriage is a vital skill to its success. Recognizing the destructive emotions or actions of each other is necessary to avoiding the pitfalls of negativity that only spirals downward. Having an open mind, a willingness to listen and understand, and a repentant heart allows a marriage to thrive when follies arise. If both parties are committed to the success of the marriage, through a personal covenant with each other and God, when poop in a marriage is discovered, it can be flushed away!

One essential part of any relationship is forgiveness. Forgiveness applies most importantly in a marriage, as this relationship provides an opportunity for each party to become most like God. Naturally, we hurt the ones we love the most. We don’t intentionally mean to do that, but it often happens innocently, and sometimes purposely, because we often have high expectations of each other to regard each other’s feelings as priority.

Forgiveness is vital to a marriage’s success because when two entirely different people, raised in different homes and with a difference in learned behaviors, are trying to find unity and harmony, there is always bound to be conflict at some point. Miscommunications happen, misunderstandings occur, and misperceptions will arise. These things are inevitable because no two minds and hearts will think and feel exactly alike. However, unity and compromise can happen if forgiveness is applied, often.

Without getting too personal, there was an occurrence in my marriage several years ago when trust was broken with my spouse. My gut feeling was indicating there was some deception in my husband’s words and actions, but without proof, I mistook it for temptations from the adversary. Later, I would learn it was the warning promptings of the spirit helping me to see and preparing me for what would later occur. Indeed, my husband had done something that deeply hurt me and betrayed my trust. At first, he defended himself and made light of the situation, which made the wedge between us greater. But, as he witnessed my grieving because of his actions, he was humbled and very apologetic. I like to consider myself a forgiving person and I did forgive him for his trespass against me, however it was extremely difficult to forget the hurt and pain I felt. My heart felt trepidation just thinking about the situation and I wasn’t sure I could completely trust my husband in even small situations. Yet, as I included the Lord in our relationship, prayed for understanding, compassion, and a desire to forgive and trust him, gradually through the atonement of Jesus Christ, I found complete forgiveness.

Surprisingly, this empowered and strengthened our relationship. We had a renewed transparency in our marriage and an increased desire to be closer and more effective in our communication. We had improved our communication with one another, allowing the other to fully express emotions, even if they meant expressing pain or hurt caused by the other party. This allowed our love and understanding for each other to grow to greater proportions and made it easier to have forgiveness for the small offenses we would make against each other.

In Goddard’s book, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, he talks about the importance of humility and repentance in a marriage, which is a great representation of forgiveness. He asks, “How do we use repentance to make our marriages stronger? The first step is the humility to know that our perceptions are very limited. We rarely know our partner’s heart or God’s purposes. Then we learn to call on God. Every day. Every hour. Very often our self-sufficiency gets in God’s way. In the spirit of humility, we listen to our partner and we listen to God. We replace despair with an enlarged openness to Christ-like goodness.” (pg. 81)

As we seek to apply the atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives for our own wrong doings, we will be more aware of using the atonement to apply forgiveness for the wrong doings our spouses will perform against us. It’s a beautiful cycle of extending the same mercy God shows unto us unto our spouses. All parties can feel an increase of love and closeness as they overcome the challenges of mortality together. And this is truly the miracle of forgiveness.

Ezra Taft Benson said, “When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God, and the proud let go of the iron rod.” It is in the circumstance that we yield to our own heart’s desires and ignore the needs of those around us. In a marriage and family setting, pride is a destroyer.

Pride comes in many forms:

• Faultfinding – seeing the flaws in others and an unwillingness to have patience for someone else’s growth
• Gossiping – speaking ill of others to get gain or leverage for one’s self
• Murmuring – complaining about others, a focus on negativity and lack of gratitude and humility
• Living beyond our means – this causes us to attempt to live a lifestyle that is false, trying to keep up with others around us, therefore not willing to accept the reality of where we are currently
• Envying, coveting, and jealousy – desiring to have something someone possesses to the point of obsession with it, with a lack of gratitude for present talents/skills/possessions
• Withholding gratitude or encouragement – refusing to be happy for the successes of others
• Unforgiving – holding grudges because you feel the other party is undeserving of forgiveness
• Disobedience to authority – too proud to comply to the authority of an elder or person with higher authority than you have
• Selfishness – an attitude of self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking
• Contention – the attitude of the adversary in having harsh feelings towards others and openly sharing them
• Unrighteous dominion – exercising power and dominance over others

He also said, “Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s. Their reward is being a cut above the rest. This is the enmity of pride.” There is so much truth to this statement and is unfortunate when this becomes the center of a marriage. In this case, one seeks to be right always and seeks to be dominant over their spouse. Many people think pride is in those who are at the top (those who are rich and educated), and yet pride is often found at the bottom, looking up.

We often see or can point out the pride in others but often fail to admit it within ourselves. This is also very commonplace in marriage, when one party refuses to change or accept accountability for actions that are destructive to the relationship. Being unwilling to see potential error in one’s ways, or feeling superior to the other spouse, threatens the respect and trust in a marriage.

I have seen many good marriages dissolve merely because of pride. I have seen one spouse refuse to be transparent in their actions, refusing to have to “answer to their spouse” regarding their daily activities. This fosters mistrust and pride. Another marriage crumbled when one spouse was very dominant and evidently “wore the pants” in the relationship. This made the lesser party feel de-valued and less important, and completely insignificant in their family relationships.

At the root of all pride is selfishness. When a person is entirely centered on their own needs and desires and only considers how things will affect them, they can destroy all relationships around them. Benson warned against “self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.” These are all examples of selfishness. It would be well of us to take inventory in our own lives and ask ourselves if we are guilty of any of the above listed forms of pride. If we are, we can straightway repent and strive to be better. And if not, we can keep this list readily available so to beware of pride.

Staying connected with your spouse after many years of marriage can prove to be challenging but is very possible. Once married and off to live happily ever after, the children come and life’s challenges present themselves, and quickly you find yourself trying to juggle various demands for your time and attention. Unfortunately, your spouse becomes one of these balls you must juggle, which is the most important ball not to drop.

To keep the candle burning in a marriage, one must always be looking for the little things that can be done to turn towards their spouse. These small and seemingly insignificant things can have a large impact on a marriage. Things such as knowing your spouse well enough to know when they aren’t having the best of days. Sending a small text that says, “I love you” can really be encouraging when the circumstances of their day may be less than ideal. There are so many small things we can do, if we are aware of our spouse and their needs and turning towards them.

Knowing how your spouse likes certain things, I call them their own personal “OCD’s” and trying to satisfy some of those things rather than trying to change those things, is another way to turn towards them. My husband is very particular about how he likes to put his toothpaste on his toothbrush and how he squeezes the tube. The whole process he is very particular at. I didn’t discover this until years into our marriage when he finally asked me one night why I get my toothbrush wet, then put on the toothpaste, then get it wet again. I thought this was such a silly question, but to him it really mattered. I decided to do it his way from that point forward, once I knew it truly bothered. But he would take it a step further. Several months ago, he started putting toothpaste on my toothbrush for me every night and leaving it by the sink. At first I thought this was just a sweet little gesture of service, but then realized after talking to one of my children, that it was his way of making sure I didn’t get the toothpaste tube wet from my brush when I accidentally slipped into my old habits and forgot. Does it really matter why he was being so kind to apply the toothpaste ahead of time for me to brush my teeth each night? I thought it was a random act of kindness, which it was, and it also had purpose. Regardless, he was turning towards me instead of away from me in that simple conflict we had in our marriage.

Every night when I go to the bathroom to start my bed-time routine and see the toothbrush sitting there already with paste, I just smile now. It is a symbol of his love for me. Every night, regardless of what has happened through out the day, I see that toothbrush and am reminded of his willingness to take the time to serve me in such a simple way. After over twenty years of marriage, I have learned that it’s not the big events in our marriage that bind us together, but rather, it’s the little things that mean so much.

When you hear the word sacrifice, what comes to mind? From a young age, I was taught that sacrifice is giving up something good for something better. Sacrifice can be found in every facet of life and we often ask ourselves what we are willing to give up to have something better: what are we willing to give up to look thinner, to have a bigger, nicer home, to have a better job, to have children, etc? The list goes on and on. But, in a marriage, what are you willing to sacrifice to have the best marriage you can have?

Considering sacrifice in marriage takes much pondering, humility, and even charity to determine what you need to change to make your marriage the best it can be. In order to become one, each party must be willing to give up and compromise some of their own self-interests for the betterment of the unit. There is no one person that is an exact match and perfect fit for each of us. Having a close, strong marriage requires giving, sacrifice, and compromise on every level.

I have been reading the book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage (Eternal Doctrines that Change Relationships) by H. Wallace Goddard, PhD? In it Goddard talks about how a person is like half of a manufactured home and putting two people together in marriage is like putting two pieces of a manufactured home together. Neither home has been built by the same carpenter, manufactured in the exact same way, has the same plumbing and walls that will match up exactly. However, with God’s help, as we allow him to be the carpenter and remodel our inner walls and parts, he can help both halves fit together in a masterful way. This analogy had such a profound picture in my mind of recognizing the work that is needed to become a perfect union as husband and wife!

Becoming a perfect union requires sacrifice and submission to one another. These are often the two hardest things for someone to do, because it does require some “remodeling” that a person may be resistant to. Sometimes we are unwilling to change things about us that don’t fit well in a home together. But, as we do, there is great power in being willing to have charity towards others, with a willingness to sacrifice for another. This is like what our Savior, Jesus Christ, has done for us. I loved this quote: “In godly submission, as in all things, Jesus is preeminent. He did not allow Himself to be mocked and crucified because He was weak and frightened. It was a triumph of His goodness that He did not use His immense power to destroy those who persecuted Him. He chose to let goodness govern His power. The Person with the greatest power chose to be the most submissive. There is a lesson there for those who worry about power in the world.

As we imperfect humans develop courage and strength, we don’t have to use them to prove ourselves smart or powerful. The better we get, the more we will use our strength to bless. We are ‘willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father’ (Mosiah 3:19)”.

What a beautiful expression of the power of submission with trust and love. I just love the results of remodeling! Though the construction phase is dirty and dusty, things get moved out of their place, rearranged, and torn up. In the end, what remains is far greater and better than what was there in the first place. In our marriages, if we allow ourselves to focus on our spouse and his/her needs over our own, we will find we can become a better person than we started, and our marriage will be enhanced in our efforts.

I loved this quote from the book: “We covenant to bring all to the altar. The Lord cannot bless what we will not bring. He asks that we bring our whole souls to Him so that He can transform us. If we are willing to let Him be the carpenter, He can blend the two half-houses together.” I love this idea of being reminded that as marriage partners, we covenant to one another to give all to each other, and with the Lord’s help, He can make us both more than what we are.

In the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19 reads, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which thee Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

It is so easy to give way to rage and disgust, impatience and self-preservation, and most of all pride and selfishness. These characteristics are found in the natural man, which are far from Godlike. These traits are the opposite of what God represents. The scripture indicates we must develop childlike qualities: be submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to all things. These truly are representative of selflessness to the highest degree, which is as Godlike as we can get. The spirit can help us to recognize the negative qualities about our lives and help us develop these positive qualities needed to live with God. But, individually, we must be willing to evaluate our own lives and recognize our short-comings and desire to be better and more like God. Recognizing the difference between these two extremes are essential in marriage, especially when conflict arises.

I love that little children are so impressionable, believable, trusting, forgiving, and submissive to their parents. This could certainly be taken advantage of by a parent, and often is, but also is such a blessing for the parent to remember in their own relationships with others, especially their spouses. Being willing to love and forgive your spouse is a huge part of building a successful marriage. Striving hard to allow friendship to prevail in your relationship is key, which focuses on the effectiveness of communication, trust, kindness, love, and forgiveness between both parties. When these qualities are present in a marriage, conflicts can be overcome.

Crazily enough, I love criticism and getting feedback to better understand myself and what I can do to become more like God. Most often, people don’t enjoy hearing the negative things that others think about them, but I actually do. While I know I can’t always please everyone, I am willing to consider how I can be a better communicator of love, forgiveness, kindness, patience, and tolerance with others. I think this is what is meant by putting off the natural man. My husband, on the other hand, is the contrary. He doesn’t welcome criticism and I understand this about him when we are striving to resolve a situation in our marriage. Nevertheless, I am aware of the need to focus on our friendship, love, and forgiveness during the conflict, and striving to find understanding and empathy for each other and our individual feelings.

One of my favorite hymns is “More Holiness Give Me”. While some would find this hymn discouraging, as though the things they do are never quite enough, I view this hymn differently. I am always seeking ways I can improve to become more like God and to have better harmony in my family. Attitude plays a huge role in our willingness to change negative behaviors or attributes about ourselves. If we refuse to see anything is wrong and always find fault in others, we fail to become who God wants us to be because we will be content with where we are. The first step is a willingness to admit error and seek for restitution with God and others, especially in a marriage. As I have shared before, including God in your marriage allows us to be humbly taught by the spirit how to love another person as God loves us, through all the good, all the bad, and everything in between. This is the essence of charity.

Have you ever pondered on the differences of marriages in society and why one marriage thrives over another? What is the formula for success that ensures a marriage to last through “sickness and health, the good times and the bad, etc”? Is there a special ingredient that affirms commitment of marriage to withstand all challenges that beset it? I think perhaps the difference is the perception of the two parties that enter marriage…are they entering a marriage covenant or a marriage contract?

Elder Bruce C. Hafen, of the Seventy, gave a talk entitled, “Covenant Marriage” (Ensign, Nov 1996, 26) where he talked about the importance of covenant marriages and why they are so essential in the world today. He said, “Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will.” Further, of marriage he declared, “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to Go. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.”

This idea had a profound impact on me as I considered my own perspective and personal commitment to my husband of over 20 years. Fortunately, we chose to make sacred covenants with God and each other, to be sealed in a holy temple for time and eternity. This was extremely important to me, as I consider myself a loyal person and I had faith in my husband to reciprocate that loyalty regardless of obstacles that might challenge our love and devotion to each other. We chose to make a covenant with each other to work together through all things and strive to have our family unit last forever.

Before we got married, my husband shared something his father had taught him from the time he was little. He told him, “If you have an out, when the going gets tough, you will take the out.” He simply meant, if you have another option besides fighting through the trench of difficulty, you will take the easy road every time if you see there is an option. His father desired for my husband to apply that to life, and especially marriage, when it gets really hard and sometimes unbearable. He reminded him, “the fight for right is worth it; it helps you grow and become more a man than you could be without it.” Fighting for marriage is worth it and striving to keep a commitment to someone for mortality is worthy of every sacrifice, fostering charity and forgiveness as the Savior taught.

Society could use more covenant keepers of marriages—people that viewed marriage with deep commitment and devotion as opposed to a contract that can easily be broken with a signature. In his talk, Elder Hafen mentioned three wolves that plague marriages at some point: natural adversity, imperfections, and excessive individualism. The latter was more profound to me than the others because we often cannot control adversity and there is much to be learned about ourselves in recognizing our imperfections.

Excessive individualism, is indeed, a plague to marriages today. The adversary has created an individual mindset of selfishness within people to do what is best for themselves in any situation. A feeling of entitlement and self-serving attitude has been fostered in society, ensuring one has enough “me time”, with great consideration to what I am getting from the relationship rather than what I am giving to it. Over time, the focus shifts from selflessly loving and serving one’s companion to serving one’s self and seeking to fulfill personal appetites and passions at any cost. I feel this is where the contract marriage comes into play, because when there is no true commitment, as a covenant, it is considered acceptable to break the marriage contract and seek another with someone else who might be more accommodating. This brings me sadness when I see it happen to good families who lose focus on the purpose of marriage and family relations.

My family was disheartened to learn of a good family we had grown to love torn apart by the excessive individualism that plagued both the husband and wife. We witnessed both living lives of self-gratification that naturally drew their focus away from one another. Soon they were overcome by enticements outside their marriage and became less satisfied with what was within their marriage and family. The children suffered the most and their confidence in marriage and eternal families was eventually shattered. The testimonies of all of them grew dim and attention from the world quickly overshadowed the gospel light of love and eternal families. It was a progressive downward slope we saw them enduring, and despite our best efforts to listen and love, their hearts grew bitter and cold and they all turned entirely away from their covenants. My heart hurt for this eternal family striving to endure mortality and overcome by Satan’s evil tactics.

The Savior taught in Matthew 19:6, “what therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”. In Moses 1:39 the Savior said, “Behold this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” God wants his children to make sacred covenants with him and keep them. These covenants allow husbands and wives to be sealed together eternally, binding families together, through priesthood keys that have been restored to the earth. In D&C 132:6, we read about the new and everlasting covenant and how the Lord said it “…was instituted for the fullness of my glory.” We can enjoy all that God enjoys by making and keeping the sacred covenants of marriage.

Imagine the 3 sides or points of a triangle. When we include God into our marriage, it looks like a triangle. God is at the top and husband and wife are on the two bottom corners. As husband and wife both look to God and focus on Him and His work, striving to work together to become better, they get closer to God. I have found this to be true in my own life. By including God in our marriage, we can endure the challenges of mortality and marriage, thus keeping our covenant with our spouse, with God’s help. Anyone who strives to apply this principle will find it works every time, because God wants all of his children to have all that he has! Lastly, something that would be good to remember is this: while contracts are for mortality, covenants are for eternity.